I’m self-employed but my wife thinks I’m at her disposal

Just because I now work from home, my wife thinks I should be able to help with childcare at any time of the day

I took the decision to swap staff jobs for freelance contracts a while ago. My work/life balance had been skewed, and in the industry I work in, I knew there was enough contracting work available. One other advantage of becoming my own boss was greater flexibility where my growing family was concerned. 
I was keen to be around for a few more bedtimes for our young children and to give my wife more support at the end of the day. However, while working for myself has been fine professionally speaking, the perceived flexibility my wife believes I have has got way out of hand.
My wife is on maternity leave with our second child and now every moment I am working from home, she offloads our three-year-old onto me. I lose my train of thought in an instant when she interrupts my work, but if I say no to her request to “keep an eye” on our son, she reacts irritably. It’s led to cross words a few times because, inevitably, she suggests that I see my role as main breadwinner as more important than hers of primary caregiver. I want to tell her that they are both important, but I need to be left alone to get work done in order to be on hand for bath time or bedtime stories or whatever carnage the evening brings.
Because my wife is breastfeeding, she expects me to leap to every need, while I am trying to impress potential employers or meet deadlines. I end up making lunch for everyone and changing nappies as my to-do list gets longer. Neither of my children gets the best of me because I’m constantly trying to rush back to a call or complete a project.
It’s true that employers have become a bit more understanding of families and their needs since the pandemic, but it’s not one sole employer I have now: different clients have differing views and I need to play the game and be on form. I’m not eligible for perks in the same way I would be in a staff role, and I constantly need to prove myself. I feel like I’m losing some professional credibility, too: I have even had to squeeze work calls into a trip supervising my eldest at the park. Trying to sound knowledgeable while also ensuring my son doesn’t topple off a climbing frame leaves me feeling frazzled.
Because I often work remotely, my wife sees this as the perfect opportunity to shoehorn in holidays or take advantage of our eldest not yet being school age. But trying to pack up a whole family and then drive somewhere is not remotely relaxing and also means I lose hours of possible earning time – only to have to grapple with patchy Wi-Fi in a tiny Airbnb while my wife badgers me to get finished so we can go out on some activity. She thinks I’m being difficult, but I just need hours at my desk. 
I know she wants us to make memories and enjoy being in our family bubble, but for that to occur, I need to be left in peace to earn a decent salary and not be villainised for closing my office door.
I know parenting two little ones is hard work, but if we want the flexibility to do it together, I need to bring enough cash in – and not be made to feel like a bad father for doing so. At the moment, I feel more stressed than I was in my last staff role. 
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